Death and Life
by aynihstnawi69
Summary: Die tries to cope with the death of Shinya, taking it harder than his band mates. Please read and review.


"Are you okay?" A voice asked softly.  
  
"I see him everywhere." Die replied, still staring at the ground. "I can't get him out of my head. The way he looked when..." the man trailed off, tears falling.  
  
Kyo put his hand on Die's shoulder, comforting the guitarist. "We have the press conference." He told him.  
  
Die nodded, standing up. He looked in a mirror, checking to make sure that his makeup and everything was okay. "Let's go." He said, taking a drink from a small bottle that was tucked in his pocket before walking out of the room.  
  
Kyo frowned at the bottle, sensing something familiar about the green liquid that was inside of it. He shrugged the feeling off and followed Die, preparing himself for the ordeal that was about to come.  
  
"What's the mystery announcement you're making?" A reporter asked, one of many that were there, waiting for them to start speaking. "Where's Shinya?" The same reporter asked.  
  
"A horrible tragedy has befallen us." Kyo said, as wonderful with words as ever. "Last night, we were at a lodge in the mount-"  
  
"Shinya's dead!" Die burst out, unable to hold it in. The rest of his band stared at him as well as the fans and reporters. All talking anywhere near them was immediately silenced. Die tried not to cry, looking at the ground. "He killed himself last night." Some people started crying, but most didn't seem to want to believe him. "We were in the mountains, and he was drunk and jumped off the balcony of his room." Die said, tears slipping down his cheeks. "We reached him in time for a few last words, and then--then he was gone." He told them.  
  
"No!" A girl screamed, and others agreed with her.  
  
"He's dead!" Toshiya told them, his eyes closed in pain. Shinya had been his closest friend. "Denile won't bring him back. There's nothing we can do, it's too late."  
  
"There was nothing we could do then." Kaoru said, more to his band mates than to the crowd. "He was drunk on absinthe, half crazy from the shit. He would have jumped no matter what we did. We tried."  
  
"We didn't try hard enough!" Die told Kaoru, looking at him angrily. "We could have stopped him, we could have! We didn't try hard enough."  
  
"Die, what could you have done?" Kyo asked him. "I wasn't there, but I know Shin-chan, there's no stopping him when he gets an idea."  
  
"You mean there was no stopping him when he got an idea." Die said bitterly. "Past tense, he's gone now. And he told us that going to the mountains wasn't a good idea, that bad things were going to happen, and we didn't listen. In fact, I was mean to him. I said we shouldn't listen to him, and I got him killed." He told them.  
  
"Die, don't say that." Kaoru told his friend. "You didn't have anything to do with it, it was the alcohol."  
  
"People don't just commit suicide because they're drunk!" Die yelled at Kaoru. There was immense pain showing on his face. "He wasn't happy, he told us." Die said, looking at the ground. "He told us and we didn't care." Die walked away, tears falling silently down his beautiful face.  
  
"Why are you so bitchy?" Kyo asked Die.  
  
Die looked at him, surprised. "What?!" He asked in disbelief. "Shinya's dead. Don't you realize that?"  
  
"Yeah, but..."  
  
"But nothing! He's fucking dead! He's never coming back, I think I have cause to be bitchy!" Die yelled, and stormed out of the room.  
  
His band mates let him go, seeing the tears in his eyes. "What's up with him?" Kyo asked, a little confused at Die's behavior. "He and Shin-chan always fought horribly."  
  
Toshiya winced at the use of their pet name for his closest friend. "Do you ever pay attention?" He asked, and both Kaoru and Kyo looked at him, not understanding. "The night when--when he d-died. The last thing he said was to Die. He said 'You're my koi.'" Toshiya told them and the pair still just looked at him blankly. "Die started crying. He was crying at the press conference, and he's probably crying now. Don't you idiots see?!" He asked, but quickly realized that they didn't. "Die and Shinya loved each other, they were just too stupid to saw anything, and when Die said it was his fault, he meant that he never told Shinya what he was feeling, and Shinya thought that no one cared about him." The bassist explained, just realizing this himself. They still didn't understand, so he just shook his head and walked out of there, looking for Die.  
  
He found the guitarist sitting alone in a dark room. The light from the hallway lit up Die's face, showing tears streaming down it as he gazed at pictures of Shinya that hung on the wall. Toshiya watched for a moment, thinking about his recent realization about Die. "Hey." The bassist said quietly, walking into the room and putting his hand on Die's shoulder comfortingly.  
  
"Go away." Die said, obviously trying to make his voice sound tough.  
  
Toshiya shook his head, though the older man didn't see it. "No." He whispered. "You can't just sit in her alone, you need to talk to people. Otherwise you'll end up just like him."  
  
"Maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing." Die said, his voice sounding hollow. "Then we'd be together, wherever Shin-chan is. We could have a second chance that would last for all eternity."  
  
"Die, you're not making any sense." Toshiya told him, frowning. He noticed something about Die. "Are you high?"  
  
"What?" Die asked, surprised at the sudden question. He looked at Toshiya, his mind racing for something to say. "No." He said truthfully. "I'm not high..."  
  
"You're drunk." Toshiya accused. "What have you been drinking?" He remembered that Die had taken a drink from a bottle earlier that day, and eyed the pocket where he had seen the drummer put the bottle. "You've been drinking absinthe." Toshiya said, staring at Die, shaking his head, pain on his face.  
  
Die looked at the floor. "So?" He asked. "I'm not drunk, just a little--buzzed on it."  
  
"Why the fuck would you do something like that?!" Toshiya yelled. "You know how stupid it is, look what happened to Shin-chan when he drank it."  
  
"Shinya wasn't just drunk, he was unhappy. He told us so himself." Die told Toshiya. "Totchi, it wasn't just the absinthe, it was a million things that led to the inevitable."  
  
"Shinya killing himself wasn't inevitable!" Toshiya screamed at him.  
  
"Yes it was!" Die yelled back, standing up. "He was unhappy, and we did nothing to change that! We should have done something to help him, he was our friend and drummer, and I know for a fact that we all loved him!" He told him.  
  
"What's your problem?" Toshiya asked Die as tears fell rapidly down the feminine man's face (he's still gorgeous even though he's feminine).  
  
Die looked at Toshiya, his face devoid of any emotion. "My problem is that Shinya died and I never got to tell him I loved him." He finally admitted what Toshiya already knew. "I was always mean to him, and I never did anything to make his life easier or better."  
  
"You can't blame yourself for everything." Toshiya told Die, still crying, his eyeliner running and making black lines down his face.  
  
"Hey! Guys, look at this!" Kaoru said as the guitarist and singer ran into the room. Kaoru held up a newspaper clipping of a fainted girl and another girl on a stretcher, apparently having attempted suicide. The headline was bold and left them staring at it as they read the article, surprised.  
  
"DEATH OF DRUMMER LEADS TO UPROAR FROM FANS  
  
The press conference yesterday where members of a popular band, Dir en Grey, announced the death of their drummer, known as Shinya, left fans seemingly without hope. Many fans, mostly teenage girls, fainted, and others attempted suicide when they found out, a few even succeeded, citing in their suicide notes that without Shinya, there was nothing to live for.  
  
Parents of the girls are outraged that something like that would happen, and are demanding explanations from the band, wondering what kind of hold such music has over people."  
  
The article went on to explain how Shinya had died, and other things that had happened because of it. The four band members looked at each other, shocked.  
  
"We need to do something." Kyo told them.  
  
"We're holding an emergency press conference and telling the fans not to take it so hard, and we're apologizing to the families and friends of the people the killed themselves. We may have to pay reparations." Kaoru told them. He looked at Die, who was staring at the newspaper clipping. "What's wrong with you?" He asked.  
  
"That's what I should have done already." Die said, his voice once again hollow. "I should have killed myself. They're right, without Shinya, there is nothing to live for."  
  
"We can't worry about that right now, Die, we need to show the fans that life goes on." Toshiya nearly begged the guitarist. "Do you want our fans to hurt themselves?"  
  
Die shook his head. "No, we can't have the fans hurting themselves." He told them. "You're right."  
  
"We wanted to--well, to say that though it is an unbelievable tragedy that we lost our friend Shinya, we need to say that it is not right for our fans to hurt themselves over it." Kyo said solemnly. "Not only is there plenty to live for, if our fans lose complete hope, so shall we, and we may end up the same way as Sh-Shinya has."  
  
The people didn't look like they believed Kyo, so Die stepped forward. "Please don't hurt yourselves because of Shin-chan." He told them, tears in his eyes. They all seemed surprised to see the usually tough man close to tears. "This has been very hard on us, and if we lose our fans and the respect of their families, than we have nothing to live for. If you feel like you want to die, please think of me." He told them, tears slowly making paths down his cheeks. "This has been tough on me especially, and already I am questioning whether or not I have a reason to live. The only good thing in my life right now is the fans, and without all of you, I would have already killed myself."  
  
This left people staring at him, not believing what they saw. "Die..." Toshiya trailed off, looking at the guitarist.  
  
Die shook his head, simply walking away. "Die, come back!" Kaoru said loudly after him.  
  
"Die!" Kyo yelled when there was no response. "We're in the middle of a press conference, what are you doing?!"  
  
"Just going for a walk." Die said, pulling out his cigarettes and lighting one. "I won't be long."  
  
Kyo looked at the crowd of people that were shocked at what they had witnessed, as always, the best with words. "I am terribly sorry for that." He said nervously. "Die really has been taking it hard, and he just needs some time to think about things, and he needs help."  
  
"He needs a psychiatrist!" Someone yelled out, someone that was obviously not a fan.  
  
"Maybe he does." Kaoru said, frowning. "But that is not really your business. Right now we should leave. We need to go find Die and make sure that he's okay--so he doesn't resort to such severe measures as Shinya did." He told them, tears in his eyes, as the rest of the band walked quickly in the direction Die had.  
  
They left the crowd muttering to each other, talking excitedly about what they had just witnessed.  
  
Die took out a cigarette and started to light it. The woman sitting across the coffee table from him cleared her throat and shook her head. Die scowled and stuffed the cigarette back in his case. "Now, Daisuke, is it?" The woman asked.  
  
Die looked around the flowery room. "Die, actually." He told her, frowning at the femininity of it all. He didn't mind if he was a bit womanish or if his friends were, but no one could take so many flowers and happy things.  
  
"Okay, Die." She said, her voice high pitched and annoying. "What seems to be the problem? Why do you feel the need to come to a psychiatrist?"  
  
"My friends made me come." Die growled, already wanting to murder Kaoru for talking him into therapy.  
  
"And why is that?"  
  
"My friend Shinya killed himself. They're afraid I'll do the same."  
  
"Do you want to kill yourself?"  
  
"I don't see how that's any of your business."  
  
The woman blinked at him. "Well, I am a professional, I know how to help suicidal people."  
  
Die looked coolly back at her. "How do you know you're so smart?" He asked her. "Have you been suicidal, have you had your friend die, have you had your fans kill themselves because of your friend dying?"  
  
"Well, no, but I--I know people that have, and they've told me all about their problems, and I've helped them." She replied, caught of guard with the many questions suddenly aimed towards her.  
  
"You helped them?" Die asked her. "How do you know it wasn't something else, someone else?" He asked, and smiled triumphantly at the look on her face. "You're a bit arrogant, it's not good to brag to your patients." He told the woman. "I'm leaving, this experiment failed miserably." He glanced back into the room as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. "If you want to make your patients feel more at home and relaxed tone down the pink and flowers and let them smoke." He advised, and left.  
  
"Die, you're awful." Kaoru told him, smiling slightly as he listened to the story. "Why would you do that to the poor woman?"  
  
Die shrugged, smiling as well. "She was being conceited, and she was really annoying. I couldn't take it, so I decided to take her down a few notches. That's my kind of therapy session."  
  
Toshiya had another revelation when Die said this. "Die! You did show your love for Shin-chan!" He exclaimed, and the two guitarists both stared at him blankly. "The way you show love or respect is by insulting people, tearing them down to build yourself up! You're nothing but a common bully, but that's how you show you love people."  
  
Die frowned. "Well, that doesn't help much." He told his friend. "It doesn't bring Shinya back. Nothing will now."  
  
"You're coping!" Toshiya told him excitedly. "You're coping with the fact that Shinya's never coming back, you just said his name without crying, and you admitted that nothing will bring him back."  
  
"You should be a therapist, Totchi." Kaoru told him, shaking his head and smiling. "Though it's been a week, and we should all be at least starting to cope by now."  
  
"Kyo isn't." Die said sadly. "He locked himself in his room again, writing shit. He's so depressed."  
  
"Well, we'll have to try and pull him out of it." Toshiya told him.  
  
Die smiled. "We can do it, you two pulled me out of my depression, though it still hurts..." he trailed off, thinking of Shinya and starting to get upset again.  
  
"Die, don't get depressed again." Kaoru said, frowning. "We need your help getting Kyo out of his slump."  
  
"Yes, as soon as we get Kyo out, be as depressed as you want, we don't care then." Toshiya joked, making Die laugh.  
  
"Come on, Kyo-san." Die said.  
  
"Go away." Kyo's voice was muffled through the door to his room.  
  
Die frowned. He started banging on the door. "Kyo, let me in now!" He told him, angry. The door shook from the force with which Die was pounding on it, and it looked like it was in danger of breaking.  
  
"Die, you're gonna knock the door down?" Kyo yelled from om the room.  
  
"Then open it so I don't!" Die yelled back.  
  
"You're insane!" Kyo yelled, opening the door and letting Die in. "What do you want?" He asked him, sitting back down on the floor.  
  
"To see what you're doing." Die said, looking around the room at the papers scattered about. He picked one up and read the poem written on it, gaping at the dark connotations of the poem. "This is amazing." He told him, looking at Kyo with wide eyes. "How did you write something like this?"  
  
"I just thought about Shinya." Kyo said, starting to gather the unorganized papers up.  
  
"What happened, Kyo?" Die asked his friend, sitting down on the floor with him. "You were handling this the best of us all. Why are you suddenly so depressed?"  
  
"Why are you suddenly not depressed?" Kyo replied, frowning. "You were taking it the worst of all of us."  
  
Die shrugged. "I'm still depressed, I'm just hiding it from Kao-san and Totchi so they don't send me to therapy again." He told the singer.  
  
Kyo smiled at Die. "Well, I just suddenly got depressed and felt the need to write. I had to get stuff on paper about Shinya, you know." Kyo explained, shrugging.  
  
Die nodded. "I understand, but you can't just go into seclusion without telling us why." He told him, his face worried. "We're all afriad that one of us will end up like Shinya, and if anyone does I want it to be me." He said, smiling faintly. "So you can't do anything rash, like commit suicide, or I'll kill you." He told Kyo as he stood up to leave.  
  
Kyo thought about that for a second, then frowned at Die. "Die, do you realize that if I commit suicide than you can't kill me, I'll already be dead?" He asked, and Die nodded, smiling. "Then why did you threaten to kill me if I killed myself? It makes no sense."  
  
"It wasn't supposed to make any sense." Die told him, still smiling. "I never make sense, remember? I'm just a stupid guitarist."  
  
"Kao, put that thing away!" Shinya said, frowning. "You know I hate when you tape me."  
  
"Well that's too bad." Kaoru said, smiling. "Because I like to tape you."  
  
"Get away from me!" Shinya told him, turning away from the camera.  
  
"But Shin-chan, the camera loves you!" Kaoru told him, smiling. He continued to tape the feminine man.  
  
"Please leave me alone." Shinya said, pouting.  
  
Kaoru looked like he was about to turn the camera off, so Die jumped up, putting his arm around Shinya. "Come on, Shin-chan. You're just so pretty, we need to get you on camera." The taller man said, smiling. Shinya squirmed, trying to get away, but Die didn't let him.  
  
"GET OFF OF ME!" Shinya yelled, trying to pull away.  
  
Die just held him tighter. After a moment of struggle, Die paused, biting his lip as he looked at Shinya. Shinya took that moment of hesitation to escape and flee to the opposite side of the room. Die looked at Shinya, then realized what had happened and started chasing him.  
  
Die sat up straight, breathing heavily. He felt tears streaming down his face, and brushed them away. "Are you okay?" A voice asked.  
  
"Bad dream..." Die said, then gasped. He looked at where the voice had come from and stared. "Sh-Shinya?" He asked the man standing before him. "You-you're dead."  
  
Shinya nodded, smiling faintly. "Yes, I'm dead." He said quietly. "Don't tell me there's no such things as ghosts."  
  
"You're a ghost?" Die asked, and Shinya nodded. "That's impossible."  
  
Shinya smiled, walking up to Die and touching the guitarist's forehead gently. "I'm a ghost." He said.  
  
Die shivered when he felt the cold, clammy hand touch his head. It sent a chill down his spine, and gave him goosebumps. "What are you doing here?" He asked.  
  
Shinya shrugged. "I came to see you, see how the four of you are."  
  
"Shinya, I really miss you." Die said quietly.  
  
Shinya smiled. "I really miss you, too. Given what I know now...well, I never would have started drinking absinthe, and I most definately never would have killed myself." He replied quietly.  
  
"I would have told you how I felt." Die told him. He looked at the floor sadly. "I don't think I can live without you." He said.  
  
Shinya made Die look at him. "Please try." He said quietly. "Please try to live."  
  
Die didn't reply, just looked at Shinya, tears falling once again. "Die?" A voice called from the hall leading to the room they were in.  
  
"I need to go." Shinya told him, looking at the door "They can't see me, I'm only allowed to let one person see me."  
  
"Don't go!" Die said, but it was too late, Shinya had vanished. Die buried his face in his hands and cried as the door opened and Toshiya walked in.  
  
"Die, what's wrong?" Toshiya asked.  
  
Die shook his head. "Nothing Totchi." He said, wiping his tears. "Nothing."  
  
Die stared at the wall. He had been sitting on the floor for over two hours, just staring at the blank wall across from him. Not even bored in his seclusion, he just sat there. His mind was racing, though blank at the same time.  
  
He could feel himself going slowly insane. He knew that it was unhealthy for him to be sitting there alone, but he didn't bother to go find someone. He felt as if he was covered by a black sheet that threatened to suffocate him, or like--like a bell jar. Die's mind traveled to when Shinya had read a translation of The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath. Die hadn't understand the concept of the bell jar in the story when Shinya had explained it to them, but now he understood all to well.  
  
Die took a drink from his glass, closing his eyes at the taste of the potent liquid. He sighed, remembering what Shinya's ghost had said about absinthe, how if he had known, he never would have started drinking it. He looked back at the wall, still staring. He started thinking once again about Shinya's ghost, and wondered for the milllionth time if he was going insane. "Ghosts don't exist." He told himself aloud, then sighed. "Then why did I see Shinya?" He moaned, hitting his head against the wall behind him. He moaned again and hit his head harder, the pain knocking thoughts of Shinya out of it. Die hit his head against the wall again and again, thinking about music instead of Shinya.  
  
After a few minutes of hitting his head repeatedly against the wall to feel pain, Die slumped to the floor, his head pounding worse than it had during his wrost hangover ever. He lay there, his cheek resting on the cool floor. After a few moments, he turned on a radio that sat nearby, wanting some type of noise to get rid of his thoughts.  
  
"If you die...love continues." A voice on the radio said, and Die looked at it, then realized that it was a commercial for life insurance.  
  
"Like it was a message." Die laughed at himself. He thought for a moment. "Maybe it was." He thought aloud. "Maybe it was telling me that everyone's lives will go on if I die, so I know I can kill myself and no one will be bothered too much." He said, sitting up straight. "I will kill myself." He announced, determined. "I will." A voice outside the door startled him, and he jumped up.  
  
"Die, are you in there?" Kyo's voice called. "We need to have a band meeting."  
  
"Yeah, come in." Die replied, checking in the mirror to make sure his appearance was okay, then looked at the door as it opened.  
  
Toshiya, Kaoru, and Kyo looked around the apartment. They had started living in their own apartments again, no longer living together as they had been for a little while after Shinya commited suicide. "Either you've changed and been keeping really clean or you haven't been doing anything." Kaoru told Die, frowning.  
  
Die grinned. "It's a mix of the two." He said, hoping that his smile didn't look too fake.  
  
"Having a cocktail?" Toshiya asked Die sarcastically, eyeing the glass on the floor.  
  
Die grabbed the glass, took a drink, then dumped the remainder out. As he did so, he had a vivid memory of when they had found out that Shinya drank absinthe, when he had dumped his glass out so they didn't ask to try it. "Yes, I was." He told them, the smile threatening to leave. He forced it to stay, however, and looked at them. "Can I get you guys anything?" He asked.  
  
"Beer would be great." Kyo said, and the others nodded.  
  
Die went to get it, and the others continued to study the apartment. "What was that banging we heard?" Kaoru asked. "We were standing outside the door for a few minutes, and we heard banging, then the radio turned on, and we heard you say something, though we could hear what you said."  
  
"What happened to your wall?" Toshiya asked, touching the wall, where Die's head had dented it slightly.  
  
Die frowned at the wall. "I don't know what the banging was, and I don't know what happened to the wall." He told them, hoping that his acting was convincing.  
  
They seemed to accept this. "Whatever." Kaoru said, shaking his head. He looked at Die. "We need to decide what we're doing about the band." He said.  
  
Die just looked at him. "What?" He asked, not understanding.  
  
"We don't have a drummer." Kyo told him.  
  
"It's too soon after Shinya--we can't think about that now." Die told them, surprised.  
  
"We need to think about that." Kaoru told him. "We need to think about the band." He looked at the ground. "Shinya's been dead for a month, we need to start thinking about what we're going to do without him."  
  
"It's too soon." Die told them, shaking his head. He looked at Toshiya, who was looking out the window, not having said anything. "Totchi, you know it's too soon, don't you?"  
  
"Die, our music bought this apartment for you." Kaoru said. "Our music is what bought everything in this apartment. We need to start thinking about the future, and if we'll still be able to live like we do now. If we want to, then we need to find a new drummer. Or--we can call it quits, end the band."  
  
"I don't want to end the band." Die said quietly, studying the empty glass his absinthe had been in, wishing for some more. "I just want this to be over."  
  
"What to be over?" Toshiya asked him suddenly, looking up at him.  
  
"This--this depression, this horrible time." Die told the feminine man. "I need to get out of here." He said, sighing. "I need to leave. Go on a vacation, or something." He looked at his friends, who looked a little upset that he wanted to leave. "Are you guys up for a trip?" He asked, surprising them, and they nodded. "Let's go to the beach."  
  
Die sighed, falling asleep, the sun warming his face. He loved the beach, being there helped clear his mind. He drifted off, starting to dream. "Carry on with the band." A voice told him quietly. "Get a new drummer, don't let me dying end the band."  
  
"It's not that easy." Die's dream self told Shinya. They were in a room that was all white, Shinya was sitting on a comfortable looking white chair. Die frowned. "You're not a ghost." He said. "That's what seemed off before. You can't be a ghost, ghosts need unfinished business, and you don't have any unfinished business." Die thought for a moment. "You're an angel." He said, looking at Shinya.  
  
Shinya nodded slowly. His face was sad for some reason. "Die, you need to see something." He told his friend, standing up. "This is a dream I had just a week before I died. I had a series of dreams, where you, me, Kyo, Totchi, and Kaoru all died. That's why I said that bad things would happen if we went on vacation. Totchi nearly died the way it happened in my dream, and I died how I dreamed I died. You need to see this dream, to see how you died so that it doesn't happen.  
  
Die shook his head. "I don't want to see it." He told Shinya. "I don't want to prevent my death, I want to cause it." He said quietly.  
  
"Die, you can't do that to everyone!" Shinya told him, angry. "The band will be over if you die. I don't want to have caused the end of Dir en Grey."  
  
Die looked at Shinya sadly. "You should have thought about that before you killed yourself." He said, and felt someone shaking his body. "Bye, Shin-chan." He said, and woke up.  
  
"You fell asleep." Toshiya told Die. "Are you okay?" He asked. They were all grouped around him, and they all looked worried.  
  
"Yes, I'm fine, why?" Die asked them.  
  
"We're just worried about you." Kyo told him.  
  
"We really don't want anything to happen to you, too." Kaoru added.  
  
Die looked around at them and his heart broke. He couldn't kill himself, he couldn't do that to them. "I'm fine." He said, smiling. "Don't worry, I'm not going to kill myself."  
  
"Really?" Kaoru asked.  
  
Die smiled at his friends, shrugging. "Why would I?" He asked them. "We have the band to think about, and each other."  
  
This made them smile, they had been really worried about Die. "What made you think that?" Kyo asked.  
  
Die shrugged. "A beautiful angel." He said, and looked at his watch. "It's getting late, I'm going for a swim." He told them, and walked to the water, leaving them with smiles on their faces.  
  
Ten minutes later, Die was swimming when he realized that he was too far out. He started to swim back towards the shore, but suddenly a large wave came out of nowhere, breaking right on top of him and forcing him underwater.  
  
Die tried to push back up, but was unable to. Something was tangled around his ankles. He opened his eyes and looked, seeing plants from the bottom around his ankles, holding him down. He tried to get his legs free but was unable to.  
  
Die had to let out his breath, and inhaled, getting a mouthful of salt water. He tried to scream, but it didn't work very well as he was submerged in water. Die struggled with all his strength, knowing that he was now fighting for his life.  
  
Memories started to flash before Die's eyes, good as well as bad, and Die fought it. As he started to black out, Die saw Shinya the night he died, his face all bloody, having been scratched by tree branches during his fall to the ground.  
  
"You should have listened." A sad voice told Die. "You should have listened, koi. I can't save you."  
  
"Get help!" Die yelled in his head. "Get someone!"  
  
The presence that was Shinya left and returned after a moment. "I told them. I told our friends. They're coming." Shinya said, and Die felt the angel kiss his lips gently, giving him a little bit of oxygen.  
  
Die smiled as the angel left and he lost consciousness. A few moments later, strong hands pulled Die out of the water, ripping the plants up by the roots and dragging him onto a boat. Die coughed up water, barely breathing. He opened his eyes slightly, his head pounding horribly. He looked at his friends. "I--I'm sorry." He whispered. "I didn't mean it. I wanted to live." He told them.  
  
"You're going to be okay." Kyo told Die, just as Die had told Shinya.  
  
Die shook his head. He knew better. He felt cold, and it wasn't just because of the water on his skin. "It's over." He whispered, and his eyes glazed over in death. 


End file.
